Monday, July 13, 2009

what goes around, comes around

So to say, I'm in the same situation and even started to wonder if I did what I had to.

Let's see: I was in a fight - we actually broke up (me and my b/f) on April 29, precisely on his b/d. I didn't do this to upset him, nor I did it in this particular day to make it hard for him. It just happened. I could not wait anymore. Now when writing this I've just realize that this can happen also to me on my b/d. God! Hope not! well, after doing this, we didn't talk for about 2 or 3 weeks or was fuzzy for me because all this time I was with the other guy, even we did not make love, we did not had sexual contact, but there were kisses and a lot of hugs and hands going here and there...but nothing more. Time passed, but my ex.b/f used to call me from time to time, I had to pay an older duty and we met for a drink. I felt strange at that time, knowing he is not my b/f anymore. Why the huck I felt like this, I've started to wonder again. It is because I still have feelings for him or it was just a pity? I do not know! Then another week or maybe two passed away and I don't know why we started to email ourselves about things: link to pages, funny emails, news and stuff like that. I felt again strange doing this, because the emails were cold, lacking the goodbye words, so nice and sweet I find this. I was put in a difficult situation knowing that he is not my b/f anymore, but we were still talking, and he was sending me motivational email when he was the one left alone! The situation coundn't be more wierd than that! Then, one day, he called me or sent a sms on my mobile and asked for a getaway one day soon, for a pizza and a beer. Oh! I felt I couldn't refuse him and said 'yes'. It was on June 22 2009 when we met again and I knew that time is going to be different. We felt more comfortable with one each other and even flirt a little bit. After all, I told him from the beginning that I'm in a funny mood and feel like making jokes and talk stupid things. He was in the same mood and from one talk to another, between two slices of pizza, I find myself pushed by his hand into his lips; his lips were kissing me again and I felt I have no escape than to kiss him back. Not that I was forced to, but because I felt so very much! Don't know what happened that moment, but it was delicious! It was absolutely fantastic to fell his lips into mine again. And yes! I wanted that to happen again and it did happen again and again....that evening was, I don't know, but it was something unreal.

Then we met on that Tuesday precisely for no reason: just to see one another- I made him a surprise and called him with twenty mints before end of program and asked where he were to go home that we met...and kissed and act like we were together again! Met again for the week-end and spent it almost entirely together. And another weekend was this one that passed (June11-12) when we felt great together and even started to talk about marriage (again!?) and he started to call me "my dear wife", "my lovely wife" and so on.....and we are now looking for a house to move together...but there again, the same problem: money! :| As I don't have a job right now, it will be hard to manage things....and I may find one job, even two because I'm a freelancer, but all of them have to be permanent, and one precisely I really want to be assigned is one of translation some articles on a web site, a job that I really enjoy.
We'll be back, cos this is not all.

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