Letter of the week (5) Why do we fight ourselves?

I got home this morning and found myself in no mood. I mean I have that feeling that I don't want to work, don't want to study (even though I should!), I'm not in the mood!

I wonder why we people tend to create problems where there are not: we choose to work in a field that does not represent us and then we tend to end up miserably! Have I said miserably? That is a nice word for what I mean here! Let's see my own example: I am a translator, but even so, I'm not happy doing translations all day long. I mean, I get bored. I want some action. Not too much action, like I don't wanna plunge myself with the parachute or something, but I do want some action in my life. I did a good thought about it and answered to the question: what do I do with my life? And what do I really want to do professionally? Am I really meant to be a doctor or is it just a thought of mine going crazy into my head and bumping up and down like nuts? DO I really want to follow 6 years of medicine school (here there are 6 years, then the residency according to the speciality, between 3 and 7 years) and then end up with no kids at 38? I mean, do I really, really want that? I thought about it. I would love to be a doctor because I could help people, I will not transform myself into that doctor who pretends money to practice medicine. I would have my own particular cabinet and work for the people, even if sometimes it will mean less money and more working hours. After all, this is what it means to be a doctor: sacrifice yourself and do good to the people. OF COURSE, I'm dreaming to a decent medical system where doctors are treated with respect and have a DECENT income, BUT who knows when that will be?! I still hope that starting now medicine and having the 6 years ahead will probably change something into the system. We expect something, a miracle, but in the same time we let our guvernors to do whatever they want with our money, with our country, to sell it piece by piece and let us with nothing. WE are a brave nation, where is that bravery and ambition to do things right, to fight for your country and die for it if is necessary so others cannot take it and make it their own!??!?!!??!?! I keep wonder that and I find one and only one answer: that of the "hungry" for power people. Hungry for money, more money and more, more, more money! And what Carmen Harra says about the end of the financial system is not that far away: I do believe this system must go off and be replaced with a better one. It has been proven that is not working and still, we hang on it because of the habitude, we are afraid of changing things.

Back to what I want in life....it's simple, but yet complicated: I want to do whatever I like and do it with love and devotion, so that what comes out of my hands and thought of my mind to be perfect, integrated with the client's idea and preferences. And I want to earn decent money from it. I do want to create handmade earrings, brooches, all kind of other small accessories for women and not only, I want to be an interior designer, a fashion designer. ...I see myself reconditioning old furniture (I have a project on going right now, you won't believe how great this will come!) and create new small furniture with my lover and partner and best friend. I see myself painting walls in different stylish ways, like painting rustic or vintage flowers, creating designs with stripes and creating 3D effect of the walls. For that, we do have to start somewhere and not think too much of the money. We have to make some sacrifices and go along with the flood and see what comes out of it. YOU need COURAGE, determination, inspiration, force, and - of course - money to begin with.

YES, I do believe that we, small people, can make the change. BUT only if we have enough courage to step out of the ordinary work-home-sleep routine and actually do something to abolish this slavery that is working for an employer, for a company! We need to come back to basics and start from the scratch. Do our own business, a small one that can help us live our lives manwise!

Have a great Tuesday!